Hello friends, welcome to…
Growing up, I didn’t really know what feminism was. In fact, I didn’t really come across the word up until my first year in the university. It was then I started research and found out what it really entailed and all that. But before knowing the word, I already was a feminist, you know?
In secondary school, I enjoyed doing things that people would consider “manly”, I was practically a tomboy. It didn’t help that I cut my hair at about jss2 or so and kept it that way till after WAEC. I remember I used to keep for boy’s football. I had no choice, the girls didn’t want to play football and I loved the game. So in school and at home, I’ll volunteer to be the goalie, just so I can be a part of the game.
I knew then, that being told I couldn’t do some things that my male counterparts were doing was really annoying to me. I always wanted to know why and I barely got reasons beyond, “you’re a girl, girls don’t do that” and stuff. It wasn’t really satisfactory but I really didn’t mind. I still got to hang out with the boys, so all I really had to do was ignore people.
That was until I got senior secondary. I was one of those fast bloomers. So my feminine parts had developed over the holidays, I remember my friends used to say I grew boobs overnight. Now, I was no longer a play mate to the boys, I no longer could be. They saw me differently now. How wouldn’t they when I was asked not to participate in a lot of sports cos my body was shaking and I could be “tempting” the boys. I’ll have you know that I was 8 when I got into secondary school. That’ll put me around 11 years in ss1. I wasn’t even a teenager and I already had to worry about not coming off as attractive or seductive to boys.
It was at that point, more than ever that I was pissed at the injustice. It felt like the more I grew, the more I was made to cover up more, to be quiet, to be friendly and know my place, told to look prettier but not seductive. My secretary then made sure my mum sowed me a new skirt on grounds of the one I had on being too short. And I loved short things. Still do. And on the other hands, the boys were encouraged to be themselves, to be louder. Allowed to go bare chested during sports but I had to wear a bra top and a singlet so my babies don’t jump.
So, when someone talks to me about how feminists are just trouble makers and are trying to find problems where they are none. When they ask why I’m one when all the issues had already been “solved”. When they go on about how doing this wouldn’t endear me to a man, or make me likeable, I just smile. The struggle is real and it didn’t just start yesterday, I was victim to a patriarchal society before I even knew what it meant.
I am a feminist and I will be until the day we live in a world where a boy can say he wants a Barbie doll and it won’t be assumed that he’s gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But he won’t be labelled for that choice, it’ll be seen as just that. A choice. The day my daughter doesn’t get scared of having hormones or being horny because she feels that makes her less, because the society has ingrained it in her that her worth is tied to her vagina.
I will be a feminist till girls are not being carted away like goods to men old enough to be their fathers and boys are not told to be “manly” and made emotionless.
I will be a feminist till there are equal standards of modesty for all genders and girls have full control over their bodies and what they do to it.
Yes, I am a feminist and No, you do not have to like me.
Soooooo, what was the turning point of your journey into feminism? Did you experience these injustices in secondary school? I wanna hear all about it in the comment section. Don’t forget to like and share too.
Till next week 🥳.