Just Amy

Hello members of Amy’s Clan and welcome to this week’s blog post on…

Honestly, this few weeks or so since my birthday I’ve barely been hanging by a thread 😂. I’m overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time and I can’t even place my emotions or distress. Then this morning, a quote came to me

After I wrote that, I realized that that was exactly how I’ve felt for the longest time. How I’m feeling and I believe more people than should, can actually relate to it.

There’s so much pain around right now, mine and the pain of so many others and there’s this sinking feeling I get when I realize it’s another problem I can’t solve, one whose solution isn’t easily generated. A few days after my birthday, during the crux of #justicefortina, #blm and other related topics which I was very involved in were all over the internet, I had a panic attack. It was scary to say the least but honestly not unexpected.

Just 2 nights ago, I had a massive breakdown over the phone speaking to someone. When I went over what was bothering me with him I realized not a single one of the issues were personal. I mean they concerned me because they were my friends but I wasn’t directly linked to it. But my friends are hurting and quite frankly I’m tired of saying “I’m sorry”. It hurts that there’s not a single thing else I can say. Nothing else I can do.

A lot of the times, this is how we feel as humans. Even with issues that have to do with us directly but even more so, problems of our friends and family. The fact that you can do nothing but just listen and be there is very painful not to mention crippling.

However, he made me realize that, that’s enough. Those people realize that there really isn’t much to be done, and if there was you would in a heartbeat. All they really ask of you is to be there, just hold them and listen to them. I know you want to do more, God knows I wish I could too, but the painful truth is there is nothing to be done. This isn’t to say that there aren’t situations where something can be done, and if you’re in one please do something. But if there’s really nothing you can do and you know that, instead of letting that helplessness cripple you and make you unavailable to even be there, focus on the fact that you’re doing all you can.

I know that is easier said than done but please try. For yourself and for your friends. Don’t exhaust yourself too thinking of the helplessness of the situation, because then even the little help you can offer, you’ll be unable to.

This is a shorter post than usual but I hope you get the message all the same. In your personal troubles or those of family and friends, do not let the knowledge of the things you can’t do incapacitate you, instead draw energy from the little you can do.

I hope you’re fine and this meets you well. Don’t forget to stay safe, stay sane and stay healthy. Till next time, I love you guys.

Amy ❣️