Hello folks! Welcome to this week’s post on
Happy new month, week, even day sef 😂. I’m sorry for being incognito this past few weeks, did you all miss me?🤭.
Now that almost everywhere is open, where would you be looking to go first? I would love to go to the cinemas but that’s not open yet, annoyingly. I am going on a date on Friday tho, wish me luck 😉.
Anywaaaaaays! To today’s post, it’s a different kind of post today. We’re having an interview 🥳🥳🥳.
Our guest is a Generation Z baby girl who wears many hats.
A Market Research Executive in the making, the Adulting Coach you need, Fiction writer and in a couple of years, a scriptwriter and casting director.
She confesses to not knowing how to dance, drive a car or use a gun 😂😂😂but that is because she hasn’t activated Eboseremen 10.0. We’ll look out for that.
She tends to be a hyperactive daydreamer which I can relate to, and we both agree we’ll talk the ears off our future husbands. Poor souls 😂
What more? She is a walking Tinder for Friends, so if you want to make friends or need advice on Adulting, she is the girl. Now, let’s delve into this interview 🎉
Q/ A lot of people know you as different things, I knew you first as “The paperback plug”. Would you please tell us your name?
Q/ Tell me, what inspired you to start selling paperback books?
A/ Okay, so I get lucky when it comes to finding books. I tend to walk around the streets or the market and just find people selling great & affordable books and I would buy tons. Buttttt thanks to my hectic 9-5, I do not read as much as I would love to. So, I would just buy for friends/family and just place books everywhere (I have a shopping problem by the way😂)
One day, Bolu, an amazing friend asked me if I could help her buy 5k worth of books. I thought it was a joke until she sent the money. I bought the books and delivered them to her. She was my first customer and she gifted me almost 100 paperback bags to package deliveries in.
With time I carved out my brand goal: To help book lovers find affordable paperbacks in the best condition. Affordability is the goal here!
Q/ You’re a life coach and give adult hacks, How’d you come across that?
A/ All my life I have been the youngest person among my “peers”. Skipping classes placed me ahead of my agemates. This means often enough, I had experienced some things before they did. I enjoyed telling them the things that happened and helping them not make similar mistakes. With time, this extended to those who were younger than me also.
In 2013, I lost my mom and gained admission into the university. I was 15 but I had to grow up and start adulting.
Adulting is hard and there are tons of teenagers and young people with questions. I have made mistakes, I have learned and grown too. I want to be able to help others avoid similar mistakes and flourish at this adulting thing. Adulting is hard but it is not impossible😊
Q/ Almost everyone who is passionate about mental health has a story to it, especially a way they take care of there’s. What is yours?
A/ Growing up mental health wasn’t something I knew about I guess like most Nigerian children. Nobody told you about taking care of your mind. Nobody told you about depression. So you will get depressed but didn’t know you’re depression or what was wrong with you. Yes, that happened to me a lot and like I’m a very happy hyper person, but I would be so sad. It’s like they put out all the sunshine in me and I was just shrinking.
For years I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Then I went to the University and I stilll didn’t know what was wrong with me because it’s not like they’re smarter there anyway, but I was now a lot more exposed. To an extent, I understood I was depressed but it’s not like you could get help for it. I had this mindset to do everything possible to stay happy.
Then for over two years and some month I was in a very toxic relationship. At first I didn’t know it was toxic, it was with time I started realising it but I was so deep into it, I felt I couldn’t get out. It took friends and grace of God to move on. But as I got out I had to start with another really big problem in my life.
So prior to all this. Yes, I got depressed but it was life incidences bringing me down. Like, death of loved ones, schoolwork and now I was doubting everything about myself. My self-worth, doubting that God loved me, doubting I deserved anything I got because this relationship really messed with my head. I came out of that relationship like really drained because I wasn’t myself in any way. My friends, yes, they had gotten me out of the relationship, but they couldn’t get Ebose back. There was a time, I was willing to have carry overs and that wasn’t an Ebose thing, Ebose didn’t do carry overs. That was how bad it got I was not going to church, I wasn’t praying. I just shrunk into myself. It was really bad. I wasn’t writing for a very long time.
So I think I started following some pages on Instagram? I don’t even know what or who or how it happened, but I came in contact with a bunch of people and that was the point a switch went on something in me said this is not Ebose, you need to take back what is yours. By then I was very well aware of mental health and I could admit to myself that there was a problem and I think that was when I decided to start taking conscious to watch what I do to myself.
So some would say I became guarded. I don’t think I became too guarded I just decided to be careful the people I let in, the content I let in and so this is how I take care of my mental health. I pick up vibes, God I pick up vibes like magnet. If you’re vibe is draining like if your personality feels draining to me, I have to let you go. I just have to, I can’t do this, you have to go. If not, I am going to feel depressed. It’s going to be really bad. So when I meet people and all they can seems to focus on is the bad, the problem, I’m going to absorb everything and then I’m going to not focus on anything else just that.
I said picking up on the people I come in contact with, what kind of persona, what kind of vibes do they give off, once I feel whatever it is you’re giving off will drain me, I let it go. It is hard because I have a want to take care of everybody personality, but I can’t take care of everybody. It’s one of the things I’ve had to teach myself, Ebose you cannot take care of everyone. People know what is wrong with them most of the time and they are fine with it, you’re the one who isn’t fine with it. Just let people go and don’t think everyone has a problem because you have a problem with it. Just let them go.
And another thing I watch is what I consume. There’s so much information. Like there’s only so much information I can take in at a time and I am so hell-bent on staying, you know happy so I get stressed out easily and I’m at a point in my life where work is driving me crazy. There’s so much to do. I have made it something I have to do everyday, take out time from my day to do something that relaxes me.
It could be sleep, it could be watching an episode of a Korean series I’m currently enjoying, it could be talking to you friend, making a call. If my head feels buzzy, like when I try to focus on something, I just feel I’m hearing a buzz, and I can’t do anything, I do that. I unplug because if I don’t and I keep pushing myself, I’m going to get to a point I will break and if I break, that means I have to get professional help. I’m trying not to get to that point I was at years ago, like roughly four, five years ago. I’m trying not to get back to that point I was at after that relationship because that was the most horrible period of my entire life and if I relapse into that I’m afraid I would never be able to come up.
Yeah, so that’s my story and I take care of my mental health by watching the content I consume, watching people who come around me and making sure to unplug when I’m the person being the problem in my life. Basically. Yeah.
Q/ How unbalanced do you think the mental health of most adults are and what would you be doing about it?
A/ Very unbalanced!
You have young people being depressed and not knowing it. Our generation has come up with temporary measures to fix mental health issues and society encourages that.
Work is being done and people are already learning but soooo much more needs to be done!
Q/ I saw a video of you trying on make-up yourself for the first time 😂. Please, indulge me.
A/ My friend is a YouTuber and she wanted to do a “get your friend to do your makeup blindfolded” thing. This would have been a greattt idea oh😊
But then she remembered that Ebose generally has no idea about makeup. She called me over and we shot the video. It was hilarious because it was the whole truth😂 I truly do not know how to make anyone up. I love makeup but cannot use it😂
Q/ I know for a fact you’re a brilliant writer, are you working on anything right now? A book, blog?
A/ Yes, a book. It is a rewrite of the only book I ever finished in 2017. I am excited for it.
I am also planning on creating content for my blog where I shall focus on Adulting Lifehacks✨
Q/ What’s your favourite book of all time? Mine’s Fifty Shades Darker
A/ All the books in the Shopaholic series. I am a Shopaholic myself, I have a slightttt handle on it largely because I am broke though😂
Q/ What is one thing you do almost everyday that others might find weird?
A/ Okay. So this is not weird to many but I have a lot of one-man plays. It is usually dialogue from ongoing stories. I have loved ones who think I am crazy and I have had to tone it down.
My imagination overrides my reality😂
10. Do you have anything you’ll like to tell us teens and young adults about mental health?
A/ See, your mental health is very important.
Your parents might not understand it, your boss at work most definitely doesn’t get it, but you should get it because it’s kind of like your phone, right?
Your phone right now is something you really love and your headphones or earpiece, you like listening to music, you like watching your movies, like reading your books, you really like your phone, right? So you will not take your phone and hand it to a baby willingly. Because they will break your phone and everyone will be like, you handed it to the baby. It’s kind of like your fault.
The way you take care of your phone. I need you to start taking care of your mental health like that. It’s like when we have money we get physical upkeep, right?
When our body is ill, we get treatment but when our minds are stressed out we say it’s going to fix itself. It doesn’t work that way.
I know they say the mind is powerful, but it won’t treat itself. You have to help it.
So if you feel when you are associating with something, It doesn’t help you and you just leave that conversation drain, you won’t just have toxic romantic relationships, you have toxic relationships generally, platonic, family-based, romantic, work-based.
Know how to interact in those relationships that does not drain, know the kind of content you consume. It’s not everything you have to take in because people are taking it in. It’s not everything you should necessarily have to speak on. Some people are more delicate than others, let’s face it. Some people are just super tough. And they’ll be like, “yeah I did that same thing too. And nothing happened to me. Why can’t you handle it?” Yes, let them know, “I’m different from you.” Okay, so I need you to take care of your mental health.
I need you to focus on helping your mind to be better. I need you to also remember this, when you pay attention to content people put out, “Oh, you’re not good enough or you’re this or you’re that” and you internalize it, your mind is going to absorb it and then you start showing it in your daily activities. You don’t need that. I mean if you have an amazing voice and you keep believing you don’t, you’re not gonna be able to sing for Jack, you’re always going to feel nervous. You would feel stupid and your confidence will drop, it will never feel good enough.
So I need you to start taking care of your mental health the way you take care of your phone, your glasses, if you use glasses, that novel that was signed by the author, your game, if you play.
I need to start taking care of yourself and understanding that you matter in this space, this time and you are here for a reason. If your mind is sick, if your mind is ill and you refuse to take care of it, you refuse to pay attention to it and you hand over the gear for your mind to people who do not know what they’re doing, you’re doing yourself the biggest disfavor. Thank you very much.
Splendid, wasn’t it guys? What a refreshing individual. Did you guys enjoy this interview? Should I look into doing more? Let me hear all about it in the comment section. Really guys, I’ve missed you all a lot 🥺🤭🤭
Till next post, stay safe, stay sane and stay healthy.