The Modern Feminist

Hello there folks! Good to have you back on…

You know, being the 21st century and all that skebab, the feminist movement has gotten a lot of traction and we’re moving forward you know. There are so many people who even believe that there’s nothing to fight about anymore and we should pack our bags and go home! How can we tho, when domestic gender roles are still very much an issue?

What the lack of a balance in general or domestic gender role does it that it creates a cycle. Now begs the question, are women paid less because they spend time working at home and don’t give as much at work? Or Do women work more at home and less at work and end up being paid less?

You might find it shocking to believe but a majority of working women do 70-80 percent more chores than their partners who are also and sometimes not even working as much. And females are generally paid less which is a battle we’re still fighting, so it makes it easy for the husband to ask her to quit and become fully domesticated.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to be a full house wife and stuff like that. But as we’ve already established, it has to come from choice and not much of that is given when one is already being pressured by society and unfair work ethics.

If there’s a balance at home when it comes to domestic work, it’ll make it easier to give 100 percent at work or atleast the same as the male counterpart which then makes it a lot easier to demand equal pay.

Contrary to what the Telegraph might say, being part of a couple where you both do an equal amount of housework doesn’t condemn you to divorce, depression, and a dead husband by 33.

Obvious solutions, such as improved provisions for paternity leave, subsidised childcare, equal pay and others are still so far off but not impossible. Women are the pillars to the economy, we influence so many things. Companies and the government should be trying to pull more women out of the home and into the the workforce and not vice versa.

It’ll make for a better community and stronger country. And men, it really wouldn’t kill you to do your part. Notice how I didn’t say help? That’s because cleaning the house you live in, doing dishes you ate in, taking care of your own children is not “helping” your wife, it’s just doing your part.

Together, we can create a world that is conducive to everyone and have children who are more progressive thinking.

As usual, I wanna know your thoughts. Put them all in the comment section below. I wanna hear your experiences with this and what your solutions might be. Also, do you disagree? I want to hear it still.

Till next time my beloved.

Amy ❣️

Just Amy

Hola guys, so, I’m not gisting y’all today. Instead, I wanna talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while. Hope you like πŸ˜‰

Dating internally at the work place has always been some sort of taboo over the years. It has been known to cause a lot of distractions and neglect of work if it works out, and a lot of high tension when something goes wrong. Infact, some establishments have it as a set rule for their employees not to date, but you can’t help it can you? You like him and he likes you a lot. A lot of times as busy corporate individuals, we don’t have enough time to go out into the world and meet new people, it’s mostly work and home and work consists of a lot of familiar faces that one could get very comfortable with without knowing.

So now, Sade from Sales department likes Ted from Tech department ( see what I did there? 😏) but they both can’t do anything past side glances and awkward handshakes but the tension is high and they want to explore what is there. I’m here to tell you that you can explore it, provided you can adhere to two simple rules.

1. Keep It Professional: Look, your boss isn’t some kind of “ogbanje”, they’re not out to get anyone who is attracted to one another, they’re mostly only concerned about their own businesses and how to make it grow. So basically, if you keep work, work, and not let whatever is happening affect your judgment and office duties, you’ll be fine.

2. Maturity. This particular thing spans over a lot of things including no 1 above. Maturity to not go around telling everyone in the office what’s happening in your personal life and cause some kind of ruckus at work. Maturity also to be able to hold yourselves till you’re out of the office. And if unfortunately it ends badly, or just doesn’t work out, maturity to keep that out of the business.

If you believe and know you can handle keeping it professional and staying mature, we believe you will be able to handle an office romance, and who knows, they just might be Mr/Mrs Right.

And all this is if there’s no actual rule against dating within the office which there almost always isn’t.

What about you guys, ever been interested in a colleague? How’d it turn out? Would you advice this or are you totally against the idea? Let me hear your thoughts in the comment section. Until next time.

Amy❣️

The Modern Feminist

Hello friends, welcome to…

Growing up, I didn’t really know what feminism was. In fact, I didn’t really come across the word up until my first year in the university. It was then I started research and found out what it really entailed and all that. But before knowing the word, I already was a feminist, you know?

In secondary school, I enjoyed doing things that people would consider “manly”, I was practically a tomboy. It didn’t help that I cut my hair at about jss2 or so and kept it that way till after WAEC. I remember I used to keep for boy’s football. I had no choice, the girls didn’t want to play football and I loved the game. So in school and at home, I’ll volunteer to be the goalie, just so I can be a part of the game.

I knew then, that being told I couldn’t do some things that my male counterparts were doing was really annoying to me. I always wanted to know why and I barely got reasons beyond, “you’re a girl, girls don’t do that” and stuff. It wasn’t really satisfactory but I really didn’t mind. I still got to hang out with the boys, so all I really had to do was ignore people.

That was until I got senior secondary. I was one of those fast bloomers. So my feminine parts had developed over the holidays, I remember my friends used to say I grew boobs overnight. Now, I was no longer a play mate to the boys, I no longer could be. They saw me differently now. How wouldn’t they when I was asked not to participate in a lot of sports cos my body was shaking and I could be “tempting” the boys. I’ll have you know that I was 8 when I got into secondary school. That’ll put me around 11 years in ss1. I wasn’t even a teenager and I already had to worry about not coming off as attractive or seductive to boys.

It was at that point, more than ever that I was pissed at the injustice. It felt like the more I grew, the more I was made to cover up more, to be quiet, to be friendly and know my place, told to look prettier but not seductive. My secretary then made sure my mum sowed me a new skirt on grounds of the one I had on being too short. And I loved short things. Still do. And on the other hands, the boys were encouraged to be themselves, to be louder. Allowed to go bare chested during sports but I had to wear a bra top and a singlet so my babies don’t jump.

So, when someone talks to me about how feminists are just trouble makers and are trying to find problems where they are none. When they ask why I’m one when all the issues had already been “solved”. When they go on about how doing this wouldn’t endear me to a man, or make me likeable, I just smile. The struggle is real and it didn’t just start yesterday, I was victim to a patriarchal society before I even knew what it meant.

I am a feminist and I will be until the day we live in a world where a boy can say he wants a Barbie doll and it won’t be assumed that he’s gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But he won’t be labelled for that choice, it’ll be seen as just that. A choice. The day my daughter doesn’t get scared of having hormones or being horny because she feels that makes her less, because the society has ingrained it in her that her worth is tied to her vagina.

I will be a feminist till girls are not being carted away like goods to men old enough to be their fathers and boys are not told to be “manly” and made emotionless.

I will be a feminist till there are equal standards of modesty for all genders and girls have full control over their bodies and what they do to it.

Yes, I am a feminist and No, you do not have to like me.

Soooooo, what was the turning point of your journey into feminism? Did you experience these injustices in secondary school? I wanna hear all about it in the comment section. Don’t forget to like and share too.

Till next week πŸ₯³.

Amy ❣️

Just Amy

Sooooooo, the fourth of May finally came and went. For those of you that had to go out, I hope the Fourth was with you πŸ˜‰ and I hope you stayed safe.

I gotta ask though, what is wrong with people? I just want to know. First things first, were ATMs shut down during this lockdown? I mean, to the best of my knowledge they weren’t but I could be wrong, I don’t know πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. The amount of people on queues today was just crazy. It’s like people don’t get the situation.

I’ll just like to point out that cases are still increasing and not reducing and last I checked, we’ve had more than 80 deaths. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not against going out ooo. Quite the contrary. It’s just, can you atleast try to be sensible about it!

And get me started on a lot of people today and their face masks too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Oh, goodness lord. I saw things. Some masks didn’t even cover properly. They were so small that it was either on the mouth or on the nose and not both. A lot of people just hung theirs on the ear or below the mouth, ready to put it on if any law enforcement official passes by. Like you’re wearing it for them πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ.

There were so many people clustered around like this ease of lockdown means the virus is out of the country.

It. Is. Not!!!

You are valuable to the society, one way or another, we still need you. If you have to go out or want to, there are ways to do it that doesn’t totally expose you to risks.

1. Wear your face masks at all times. Quality ones though.

2. Avoid, avoid, avoid crowded spaces. If you wanna use the ATM or go to the supermarket and it’s crowded, go another day!!!

3. Wash your hands like your life depends on it, because it does!

4. Also stop touching surfaces especially ones that are obviously exposed and unclean.

5. Most especially, stay indoors as much as you can afford to.

Honestly, I know everything I said up there has been said more times that can be counted but obviously people still aren’t listening. Remember kids, it’s a crazy world right now, safety is all you can give yourself now.

Also, before I leave, I should drop this;

If you are interested in it, you can click the link to join: https://bit.ly/Join_A_Virtual_Panel_Session

It will be an safe space to ask all your questions and air your thoughts. Come one, come all!!!

Okay guys, that’s it from me today, till next time!

Amy ❣️

Sexcapades

Hola mi amor, how have we been? It’s another Friday and time to get sexy πŸ˜‰

He kissed down her neck, to the back of her ears. His palm enclosing her boobs as her bra and the rest of her clothes had been totally discarded at that point. She moaned low in her throat, as he nibbled on her cleavage while toying with her nipples. She was getting impatient and so worked on his shorts to reveal his manhood. The size of it was so intimidating, she let out a low whimper as she tentatively caressed the tip.
“Do you want that?” He asked staring directly at her. She nodded.
“Beg for it.” He whispered into her ears, his breathe tickling her ears.
“Please, f*CK me!”
He pulled back, grabbed her thighs and pulled her closer. Then in one swift move, thrusted into her as she released a loud moan, her p*ssy dripping wet and tight.

“Whose d*ck is making you feel this way?”
“Yours! Only yours.”

Consent is a very simple yet complicated topic it’ll seem. In my opinion, it’s a yes. Simple as can be. Not a maybe, not silence, not compliance, a simple straightforward yes. Lack of consent in a sexual arrangement is equal to rape or sexual assault and is punishable by law. Yet, it’ll seem so many people do not understand the mechanics of it. I have had so many conversations with people who feel that once a girl starts making out with you or allows you make out with her, that automatically means she wants to have sex. Okay, let’s pause for a sec.

It is very possible for someone to want to kiss and make out without having sex. It’s possible for one to wanna get down on eachother and not want to have sex. It is possible to want to do everything sexually possible besides actual penetration and it’s within one’s right.

Before having any sexually related activity with anyone, especially if you’re not romantically involved, be sure to have their explicit permission. Even if you are a couple, I don’t understand the fun there is in doing anything with someone who’s obviously not in the mood, Or not so obviously, which is why asking is important.

When you’re making out with someone, there are cues they leave that make it known if they would like to stop, and unless you’re not paying attention or just a flat out jerk, you’ll understand. For instance, you put your hands under her clothes, and she takes off the clothes, it’s obvious she wants to go on. But then you place your hands on her thighs and she squirms away or removes your hand, that’s an obvious way to say, “No, not there,” Or do you need a freaking placard? Now, it can get very confusing for a lot of you immature babies who might assume that just because she doesn’t want your hand there means she wants you to stop completely. That’s not entirely true, which again brings us back to “ASK!!!” It’s really not that difficult.

Girlfriend, if he keeps pulling your hand away from his crotch, or perhaps he doesn’t seem into the kiss, then he’s probably not into. Stop and check, to make sure you’re on the same page. From kissing, make sure he’s ready to make out. From there, make sure nudity is fine. Check in before proceeding to oral, and then the main thing.

For some of you who would say, it kills the mood to ask or bring it up. Uhm, first of all, don’t be a jackass. If she/he’s really into it, asking won’t “ruin” the mood. Secondly, there are ways to ask in a sexy manner you know, one of which I just illustrated up there.

Read cues, ask questions in a sexy way, Get between his legs and look up smiling, trust me you’ll know if he wants it. Tease her, what she wants is bound to spill from her, get creative with ways of asking and knowing but never ever disregard consent. It makes it so much more enjoyable for both people present if both people are present. You feel me?πŸ˜‰

Okay, guys. I’ll love to hear from you in the comment section. Do you like the short piece at the beginning and should I make a habit of it? Have you ever been in a tricky sexual arrangement with consent as the issue? What are your thoughts on consent in general? I’ll love to hear all your thoughts.

Till next week my loves. Stay safe, stay sane and stay healthy. And don’t forget, Consent is sexy!😌

Amy ❣️

The Modern Feminist

For the longest time, women have been told what to do, what they can say or wear, or eat or be and I think that’s the major place that the fight for women’s right started. Personally, I think that Feminism is about equality but more than that it’s about choice and freedom.

I have noticed this unfriendly attitude of women who are supposed feminists going around bashing other women and feminists for their choices and saying that’s not what a feminist should be.

In an interview, popular actor and Feminist Emma Watson was asked about her vanity fair nude photoshoot and how that ties with feminism and she gave that response.

As a man or woman, what or who you are is solely dependent on you, that is what feminism is about. That choice, that freedom. If you go around telling people what they have to be like to Feminist, then how are you any different from the patriarchy who has told women who to be for centuries.

I was once in a discussion with a couple of people I think at SMW 2019 and I was talking about how much I’ll love to have a career that gives me the liberty to be home with my kids and just be very present, especially while they’re growing up, and the guy goes; that’s good, this is the way women should be, not all those feminists that like to fight for the head of the house. And how I’m supposed to give my husband his respect and all that nonsense and I just started laughing. Later, a lady that was part of the conversation came to me in private to tell me about how I’m not a true feminist because I want to end up in someone’s kitchen. πŸ˜‚πŸ™„πŸ™„

First of all, Mr, just because I want to be home for my kids doesn’t mean I won’t have a career or that I’m an housewife and even if I wanted to, it’ll be because I want to not because of the ego of my husband. And me wanting to be at home with my kids doesn’t make me any less of a feminist, that’s just my choice.

A lot of people don’t get that, a woman has the full right to decide what she wants to be and how she wants to be it. There are so many fulfilling careers out there to be chosen from, some very time consuming that requires a lot of travelling and meetings and the likes, others maybe not so much. If a lady chooses to open her own company, it doesn’t make her any more of a feminist or less of a woman than that who decides to be an housewife, the key point is that it’s their choice. Not one that was chosen due to a “pick me mentality” which we would still discuss, but because the lady wants that.

As Emma Watson already said, feminism isn’t a stick with which you beat other women with. Going around as the feminism police deciding what a feminist can and cannot do makes you no better than the system we’re trying to fight. So drop the judgement. If a feminist lady decides to be a nudist, before you go around saying she’s doing it for men, maybe think for a second that she actually likes that, understand that it’s her choice and cheer her on.

We should be each others cheerleaders not enemies. Find your truth in feminism but do not force that truth on someone else.

Stay safe, stay sane and stay healthy.

Amy ❣️

Just Amy

Hey guys, waddup! Welcome to…

Today, we’re gonna be doing things a little differently. So, I was gonna regale y’all with tales of my quarantined life, lol but then I realized that it’ll most probably be the same things. So I asked a couple of friends and readers to describe what their quarantine has been like and here’s what a few had to say.

Rollercoaster is definitely a word I’ll use in describing this period. From days where all I wanted to do was cry to days where my sister and I sang from the top of our lungs to lyrics on TV, my life is now a reality show at this point πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The lockdown has most definitely been crazy forcing us to feel a whole lot of things that we otherwise run from. It’s made the whole world slow down and reminded us that the real joys of life are when you’re slow enough to enjoy it, if only it didn’t take a worldwide pandemic to do the trick. This particular response hit different and I hope we all can relate to it.

Bottom line of it all is to try not to let your sanity go with your freedom. Take a deep breath and just take it slow.

How about you? What has this quarantine been for you? And now that it might be lifted, how are you feeling? Do drop your comments and you never know, maybe I’ll even post some of them next week.

Till then, stay safe, stay sane and stay healthy.

Amy ❣️

Sexcapades

Hey guys, what’s popping. Welcome to this week’s post. How are y’all sexy asses doing? Lol, I’m doing great tho. Anyways, let’s talk sex.

“I swear Amy!” she proclaimed, “the guy fucked me so good, I couldn’t walk for hours and I could still feel him days after the meetup.” She finished with a smile on her face. I and Tola looked at eachother and burst into laughter.

“Honestly, Becky, you’re still with the small boys that pound roughly with no point?” Tola asked, and now I was curious.

“What do you mean?” I asked

“Any tom, dick and Harry knows how to fuck, but only real man,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “knows how to make love.”

Similar to that conversation, a while back my friends and I were talking about “having sex” as opposed to “making love”. To some extent, I feel we all already kind of have an idea what the difference is. However, is one better than the other? Does one hit different, what exactly makes having sex different from making love? I’ll like to point out that everything I’m writing from here on out are my personal opinions from my experiences, are not grounded in fact and you do not have to agree with them.

I personally don’t think one is better than the other, or that it takes special skills to perform one. A meaningless fuck is a situation where both parties aren’t involved romantically or otherwise. There’s no love or affection, sometimes with one night stands, no prior knowledge of one another. Just two humans being physically attracted to one another, periodt.

I’m not saying a couple can’t have random casual sex, but I doubt it’ll be meaningless as there’s a degree of affection for one another.

Now, people relatively associate making love with slow, gentle movements and while I do not disagree, I do believe there’s more to it. Making love I believe has more to do with intentions rather than actions. It’s mostly when two people love each other so much that they have to show it physically.

That is always characterized by cheesy romantic sceneries. You know, roses and slow music. Champagne and strawberries. Sometimes, just dimmed lights and slow thrusts as opposed to a quickie in the shower.

I believe however, that when you’re with someone you love and who loves you, you make love almost all the time. Fast or slow, hard or gentle it doesn’t matter because of intention.

When you have mindless sex with someone, you’re most probably chasing your individual needs and working towards it. When you’re with someone you love, you both are more interested in each other than yourself. Even if it excruciatingly hard, you still wanna be gentle. You want to be sure the other person feels comfortable. You make sure they feel safe and everything they’re doing is by their choice and you’re in no way forcing them. So, mentally and emotionally, you are already making love to them because you’re professing your love for them over and over again in the most instinctual and primal of ways even if it’s not in the conventional “make love” way.

So, while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with slow, gentle, sensual lovemaking, remember that even people who aren’t in love do that too and it doesn’t always translate to a deeper affection.

If you’re in love with your partner, you can show them that love everytime you get intimate and there’s absolutely no need to get caught up in the specifics.

Conclusively, in my opinion like I already said, love making or making love is about intentions and not necessarily the pace or force of your intercourse.

Do you have a counter opinion, any experiences or stories that beg to differ? I’ll love to hear from you all in my comments section, don’t be shy. Till next week my sexy munchkins, stay safe and stay sane.

Amy ❣️

The Modern Feminist

Hey people, how are we doing? It has been a lovely day and I hope you tried to enjoy it despite this lockdown situation. Lol. I took an long hour walk πŸ˜‚πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί.

Okay, to the topic of the day “A WOMAN IS ALWAYS RIGHT.” This is a statement that has the been used for the longest of times. It’s mostly said to men who are about to get married. You hear his father or any father figure or older male tell him that he should make sure to always apologize first to preserve his marriage. Lmaooooo.

Now, I’m all for compromising and being the “bigger” person to save your relationship and to keep peace but that statement is just all shades of wrong and causes way more problems than it solves.

To assume that someone is always right that means no matter what they do wrong you have to apologize, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. In this situation, it is inevitable that resentments start to build.

Remember when as a kid you were made to apologize to your parents even when they were wrong or atleast you did nothing wrong, you know how that felt. And those were your parents, imagine having to do that all the time to someone who’s supposed to be your partner? Exactly.

Then there’s the fact that most times, it prevents actual remorse. You’ll hear a lot of guys say stuff like; ” she started nagging again, I didn’t even listen. I just told her sorry and left. You know how all those women can be.” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. And can you blame them.

When you say sorry most times, it makes it hard for someone to be able to say anything again cos everyone goes, “he already apologized.” And you’re there looking like a fool, cos you know the issue wasn’t an apology, especially not an half assed one to keep you quiet. The guy gets off looking “mature” and once more, the female species are made to look like frivolous, childish people who complain about nothing.

Let’s also not forget that when one apologizes to shut you up or seem “mature” they end up not even knowing what they’re apologizing for. I don’t know about you, but I always want to know if the person apologizing to me even knows why they’re apologizing.

It’s very important, because I’m more interested in not having the same arguments every week than in your fake a*s apology. No offense.

So, you end up with a guy who apologizes because it’s the “manly” thing to do and he can’t be caught dead arguing with a woman. You end up not discussing the actual issue and if he’s one of those manipulative kinds, he even buys you stuff so you really can’t say anything. And then in a week, when the same situation arises, you’re labelled a complainer.

Guys, so as to prevent being resentful to your partners from apologizing for nothing and ladies so as not to end up with a man child who has no conflict resolution skills, a woman is not always right. No human being is.

This is not to say you can’t apologize sometimes either person, cause not every issue is argument worthy and sometimes you really are wrong but don’t loose communication and don’t ever take your partner for granted.

N. B. All this is my personal opinions and from my experiences. They don’t have to apply to you and can be challenged respectfully.

What do you guys think about it? I’ll love to hear in the comment section. Till next week guys.

Amy ❣️

Just Amy

Hey guys!!! Oh my God, are those pitch forks and is that fire?😲 Ahhhhhhhhhh, I need to run for my life πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ. Okay guys, we can settle this amicably. Let’s put the pitch forks down and have a civil conversation.

Okay, I kinda deserved that. It’s been one month, exactly a month! Wow. My last post was march 20 😭😭😭. I am so sorry guys, in my defense I’ve kinda been off socials too, especially WhatsApp. I still am but I had to put something up today, so it’s public knowledge that I’m still alive. I’ve missed you guys a whole lot, so let’s get into this post. πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³

Where do I start, oh my. In march when COVID-19 started, I was one of those people who believed it was around, I just didn’t think it was a big deal. I remember after schools closed down March 23rd, I believe, and I was packing cause I had to go home. A friend asked me if I was taking my laptop, and I was like that would imply that this whole lockdown or social distancing as it was then would take long, and it can’t.

If only I knew how wrong I was πŸ˜‚, maybe I would have been better prepared for it? Now we’ve been home about a month and it doesn’t look like it’s coming down anytime soon.

What Have I Been Up To?

Well, I’m doing a social media cleanse kind of. Hence the WhatsApp disappearance. I’ve been home, trying to actually be home. You know, with friends and family. Also, πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚, I recently started learning German. Yeah, I am studying Deutsche and I’m officially going crazy. Let’s see;

Hallo, ich bin Amy’s Artistry. Wilkommen. (Hello, I am Amy’s Artistry. Welcome.)

I promise I know more than that, I just don’t wanna frustrate you all as I am right now.

Anyways, in this lockdown I have tried so many crazy things. I tried to dye my hair, didn’t work out but I’m gonna try again. I’ve tried different food recipes, just yesterday my sister made chocolate pancakes. They taste really great but didn’t look so good. I’ve plaited hair, I’m getting good at it. And I’ve recorded so many videos, it’s crazy.

This post is going to have another part where I go into the nitty gritty of my time off air (socials) and all that I have learnt and found out.

I would say this though, going off has made it easier to see a lot without all the noise. I’m still the same obsessive modaf*cker but now I’m doing that with important things and with less noise.

Next week, we’ll be talking about my don’t rush experience πŸ˜‚. How inappropriate I believe the wives, sidechick and girlfriend challenge and other fun stuff you’ll enjoy. I hope after that I’ll be forgiven πŸ₯Ί.

Thank you for reading even after such a stretched absence. I hope you’re staying safe and sane. Try to have fun in your homes with family. If you’re celebrating a birthday, eat cake at home and take silly pictures.

Btw, Happy Birthday Becca Saka, my beautiful black beauty.

Happy birthday in advance to Esther Oseni, baby girl for life. Awon vloggers of life. You should totally check her out on YouTube, Rants and Bants.

Okay, until next week. I love you all. Bye

Amy ❣️

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started